Monolith Discovery (a parody)


Madrid Property



Early in the morning I took Fonzie and Otto (best dogs in the universe) for a walk on our Santa Fe, New Mexico property.   As I approached the Arroyo Gallina on east side of our property they begin to bark like something was down there.   Keep in mind the last time we think we heard anything down there was about five years ago when we drank a bottle of tequila and thought we heard La Llorona.   As I approached them, Fonzie was on a staunch point, as if he was pointing a wild game bird for me.   I knew something was there.   I crossed the fence and there it was.   A monolith perched up on a rock just like the ones found in Utah, Romania, and California.  

I didn’t see any tracks or sense anyone was around.   I called Fonzie off point and picked up a monolith perched on a rock that was about 5 ½” tall by ¾ “x ¾” square.   Very shiny.  The base was somewhat square with hammered scalloped edges.   It had a stamp very similar to my blacksmith stamp that had the letters I, F, N, M.   I am only a blacksmith and not a metallurgist so I pulled out my google machine and discovered that might stand for “Intergalactic Fabricated Nickel Magnesium.”  The whole time I was thinking maybe the little green men stole my company name of Imagination Fabrication of New Mexico. 

About an hour later my wife came out to the shop and brought me a cup of coffee.   I told her to go back and give that coffee a double shot of Wild Turkey since I had some weird news to tell her.   She came back and sat down as I explained to her what happened.   She asked me if that was my first stout coffee for the day?   When I showed her the monolith, she just about fainted.   She believes in UFOs and Aliens, while I never have (maybe now, I do too).  

After a lengthy discussion, we decided to do another reconnaissance, of the arroyo.  Damned, if our reliable German Wirehaired Pointer – Fonzie didn’t go on point again.  Yup, we found a second one.  

We know these two monoliths are probably worth millions, however we have never needed a million bucks.  After all we have two very good smelly dogs.   So, we decided we would like to make sure these monoliths go to someone that really has an appreciation for them.  

They are for sale at $44.95 each.   We just need to recover the cost of shipping and strife this stressful event caused to us. 

Disclaimer: should you purchase a monolith we will not be liable for any alien abductions, etc…

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